In this article, we find out what is a middle -aged crisis, what features it has, and also how to get rid of it.
Contents
- What does a middle -aged crisis mean: concept, features
- Why is a middle -aged crisis: reasons
- How much does a middle -aged crisis come?
- How long does a middle -aged crisis last?
- Does women have a middle -aged crisis?
- How to determine a middle -aged crisis in men, women: signs, characteristics
- Stages of middle -aged crisis: Stages
- How to get rid of a middle -aged crisis yourself: recommendations, tips
- Life after a middle -aged crisis - what will happen?
- Is it possible and how to avoid a middle -aged crisis?
- Middle -aged crisis: reviews
- Video: middle -aged crisis. Psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky
To date, a middle -aged crisis is perceived as a phenomenon that men are exclusively susceptible to. However, such changes also concern women. At this time, people usually overestimate what exactly was obtained for a certain period of life and the results sometimes turn out to be frightening. However, you should not be scared, because a middle -aged crisis can be overcome. The most important thing in this period can not succumb to emotions and not destroy your life.
What does a middle -aged crisis mean: concept, features
Often in people aged 35-55, depression is overcome, which lasts long enough. At the same time, all signs of a change in the emotional state are evident. It is it that is called the middle age crisis. A person begins to visit the thoughts that very soon he will grow old and die, he is yearning for the past years and lost opportunities.
According to experts, this condition is due to the fact that a person begins to rethink the years and his experience. Everyone in his youth makes mistakes that they begin to regret. These all experiences at a certain moment accumulate and certain symptoms begin to appear. This condition can last for several months and years.
In general, of course, a middle -aged crisis is not considered a disease. This is a natural process of life of every person. But there are times when depression brings to unpleasant consequences. In such situations, it will no longer be able to cope with your condition on your own, you will have to contact a professional.
Why is a middle -aged crisis: reasons
After 35 years, each person begins a new stage in life. The surrounding world is already perceived in other ways, many things are clear and simple, and the first summing up of the years experienced begins. Failures committed in youth can be regarded as large misses, and this can, in turn, provoke emotional problems.
As a rule, the crisis is manifested for the following reasons:
- A person has too high requirements for himself. He constantly criticizes himself and overestimates the bar
- It was not possible to realize themselves in life, too many dreams have not come true
- Lack of family and children
- Lack of a career built, as well as low professionalism
- Fixation on thoughts about old age and death
- Lack of social adaptation in society, that is, a person is not too sociable and is
- Self -doubt and their abilities, indecision
- Problem childhood. Psychologists note that most problems in a person come from childhood
- Hormonal malfunctions. This reason is most often manifested in women during the occasion of menopause and directly upon its occurrence
- Chronic diseases that lead to the fact that life begins to be perceived in a negative way
How much does a middle -aged crisis come?
Since each person is unique, it is impossible to say exactly when exactly the middle age crisis occurs. It is believed that on average the onset of this period falls on 35-50 years. At the same time, psychologists are sure that this crisis can come even earlier, and therefore an age interval can be expanded. So, it can be started from the age of 25 and finish at the same age.
How long does a middle -aged crisis last?
It is difficult to answer this question. A middle -aged crisis lasts different times. In this case, it all depends on how much a person perceives himself, in what environment he lives, what surrounds him, and also what events are taking place. When a person sums up, he must see what his prospects for future development are. In general, relative to a person with him begins to harmonize by about 50 years. But this can happen before. In some situations, the onset of this age becomes another test for humans.
Does women have a middle -aged crisis?
As we have already said, many believe that a middle -aged crisis is the lot of men. However, women are also subject to him. So, in about 37-43, a third of women are faced with this condition. Most at this time want to give birth to a child or abruptly change their own kind of activity. Someone is afraid of old age and actively begins to do plastic surgery or various cosmetic procedures. In any case, a woman is trying to hide her own age. Already in 45-55 years, a period of menopause occurs. At this time, everyone has to face the inevitable - the beginning of the onset of old age. The hormonal background begins to change, and with it well -being and mood. Depression and anxiety often develop against this background.
Of course, not every woman is experiencing a crisis, and even if it comes, the minority experiences it acutely. If a woman accepts herself as it is, believes in her own strength and she has someone to support, then this period will pass quite softly.
How to determine a middle -aged crisis in men, women: signs, characteristics
A middle -aged crisis depends largely on a person. So, one of the main features is a worldview. It is important to take into account the nature, temperament, as well as the features of the nervous system. Depending on gender and age, signs may also vary.
- 25 years. This period is manifested the same for both men and women. It becomes scary for a person because he enters into adulthood. He may not be fully confident in his own abilities, his activities. Because of this, a feeling of dissatisfaction, depression and apathy develops. Moreover, a person begins to compare himself with others.
- 30 years. During this period, a person begins to doubt that he correctly chose his path, he may stop like what he is doing. In addition, he is afraid that he will not be able to succeed and he will not succeed. Often at this time, people begin to regret themselves. Men in this period are more concerned about their professional activities. It seems to them that they have not achieved anything and they have lost their desire for career growth. As for women, they do not accept their own age and believe that youth has passed. Large claims to the spouse begin, despondency in the absence of family and children.
- 40 years. There is dissatisfaction with the results of the past years, experiences due to age, as well as past youth. Men are afraid that they will not be able to cope with their duties, they make attempts to catch up, and they also want some radical changes. In a woman, this period is characterized by a frequent mood change, sentimentality, and vulnerability. They too critically begin to perceive their appearance and look for methods of rejuvenation.
- 50 years. Age is perceived negatively, and often people are not satisfied with their own achievements. They are nostalgic about the past and are afraid of what will happen in the future. The realization comes that life is finite and the rethinking of values \u200b\u200bbegins. Men lose their self -confidence, and they also cease to like their appearance. They try to seem young and want change. As for women, in the absence of peace in the family or in case of failure in a career, they are disappointed. They cease to be satisfied with their status. Again, this affects the mood.
Stages of middle -aged crisis: Stages
As a rule, a middle -aged crisis takes place in several stages. Five main stages are distinguished.
- Depression. This is the very first stage and it can already be understood on it that a middle -aged crisis is developing. When a person revises his life attitudes, they often conclude that they could not take place in their chosen activities. Perhaps it turned out, but it was not possible to make the plan. As a result, a person becomes apathetic, is engaged in self -digging and suppressed all the time. These are ideal conditions for the development of depression.
- Anger. This is a feeling that allows the instinct of self -preservation. A person protects his own boundaries and moves forward. This can still be called "healthy" anger. But for a crisis, this concept is not applicable. Anger in this case is unpleasant and destroys everything around. First of all, loved ones suffer. Although most people are angry during the crisis, they usually take anger just on those who are nearby. The stage itself is expressed in aggression, irritability, breakdowns. And a person can begin to drink alcohol, show waste and provoke quarrels.
- Reclamation. At this time, a man may need loneliness to gather his thoughts and rethink everything that happens. It is from this stage that a person begins to avoid people. He closes in himself and does not make contact while trying to find out the causes of his behavior. Maybe even start drinking alone.
- Terminal. This is a process of complete personality transformation. In this case, a person must understand that he will no longer become what he was before. And it depends on himself. It is from this time that life is changing coolly. A person can leave the old job, throw a family, change the circle of communication and his habits. In other words, he begins to do what he likes.
- Adoption. This already means that difficult time is coming to an end. After 40-45 years, a person realizes that he can only overcome his own condition after he decides how he will continue to live. Everyone chooses ways to solve this issue. Someone just continues to live the same as before, and someone is trying to radically change everything.
How to get rid of a middle -aged crisis yourself: recommendations, tips
Not necessarily a middle -aged crisis is difficult and painful. Everyone that he notices the signs of a crisis can help himself pass it the least painful. To do this, use several useful tips.
- Analyze your life and accept it as it is. A new stage in life begins when a person accepts his past. Just keep in mind that to accept, this does not mean to force yourself. To accept, this means recognizing everything that happens around as is. Moreover, how exactly everything will be, depends only on your choice. Do not blame yourself for anything and do not live in the past. Remember that you had good and move on.
- Determine what values \u200b\u200byou have. The crisis should not be treated like something bad. Give it benefit and revise your own values. They can change over the years and this is a normal situation. Every year, the sensation of personal growth and determination decreases. However, relations with other people become more valuable, as well as the ability to navigate in any situation. Think about what is important for you and how it can be realized.
- Reach the balance. When there is a balance in each of the spheres of life, it begins to seem that everything is under control. Try to allocate time for everything. Do not squeeze all the juices out of yourself, think about your condition.
- Health. It is important to take care of your health. If something bothers you, be sure to consult a doctor. The depressed state or irritability may indicate a decrease in testosterone levels. In addition, do not neglect a healthy lifestyle, give up alcohol and harmful food. And physical activity will not be superfluous.
- Strengthening relationships. Surviving difficulties in life is much easier when there are close people nearby. Communication with other people makes us more stress -resistant. Talk to loved ones, listen to them, ask you to help and do not forget to help yourself. In other words, take part in the life of people dear to you.
- Create goals. When a person sets a goal, then he can be distracted by attention precisely on her. So, instead of thinking about how you could turn your life, think about how you can make it happier. The goals should be more real.
- Do what you love. Now it is important to feel like a master and enjoy what you are doing. You will be surprised, but the less you act, the less you have the strength. Passivity ultimately leads to a decadent state and even depression. So think that you love most and do just that.
- Develop. Show the curiosity. Think about what are the most important areas for you and develop in them. The world is constantly changing and therefore you will have to catch up with it. Go to courses, read books, learn the new. Do not think that you are too old for something. Remember that everyone is young as young as he allows himself.
Life after a middle -aged crisis - what will happen?
Many are interested in what will happen after the middle -aged crisis ends? In this case, a lot depends on the person, but three different scenarios are mainly distinguished:
- Nihilism. A person understands that all his past values \u200b\u200band priorities are no longer relevant. Therefore, he begins to show indifference to everything, but this does not concern his own desires. In other words, a person becomes a cynic. By the way, it is such a scenario that is most common.
- Depression. This is one of the most dangerous scenarios, when a person cannot come to terms with the circumstances and begins to drink alcohol, leaves the family or performs suicide. Usually, ambitious men who strove for something ended, but then they realized that life had almost passed, and they are not happy, even if successful.
- Victory. After a short depression, a person understands that he is still able to realize ideas and undertakings, and therefore he picks himself together and moves on. Oddly enough, two extremes are in this category: adequate and short -sighted men. The former are able to soberly assess the situation and find compromises for themselves, and the latter do not understand that the situation is serious and do not pay attention to it.
Is it possible and how to avoid a middle -aged crisis?
There is a stereotype that a middle -aged crisis is harm and a threat to humans. There is another installation - if “live correctly”, then you can avoid bad consequences. In fact, this is the biggest misconception, because living “correctly” and “in harmony with yourself” are completely different things. Of course, the crisis has its own virtues that cannot be ignored, because otherwise nothing will work. This, one might say, is the last chance to change yourself both outside and outside.
Another important point is that during the crisis, the assessment of the accumulated experience is overestimated. All his life, a person runs somewhere, tries to earn, build a relationship. As a result, years pass, youth, too, physically, a person is depleted, because you need to do so much. That is, there is no time to stop and simply lay out everything on the shelves and give a response to what is happening. A person puts off everything for later.
And during the course of life, everything is accumulated both positive and negative, which it would be reasonable to put everything in place. But does a person want to think about everything, especially if in his life there is more bad? Of course not. Some seek to radically change something. Happiness comes, but only for a short while. The past always comes out, makes you think about itself. Over time, a person realizes that he can’t get away from this and sooner or later to face it all. So no matter how a person fled from the crisis, if he comes, then he will not be able to avoid him. The main thing is to understand that everyone chooses how to respond to it.
Middle -aged crisis: reviews
Many people experience a middle-aged crisis, and someone has already coped with it. In any case, it does not pass without consequences. Often, their condition, as well as ways to deal with it, people share on the Internet on forums. Let's find out what people say about a middle -aged crisis.
Video: middle -aged crisis. Psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky