"Tale of the Golden Fish" in a new way with humor for a cheerful pastime of adults

A selection of options for a fairy tale about a gold fish in a new way for a fun company of adults.

On our site you can find cool scenarios of fairy tales for a new way to adultsthat can be used to entertain dear guests during the holiday.

"Tale of a fisherman and a fish" in a new way - a cheerful parody

The Tale of Fisherman and Fish in a new way is a fun parody:

INTRODUCTION

On the shore of the "blue" sea
Grandfather with a grandmother lived or something
In an earthen dilapidated house,
In thirty -third as much as a year.
The old man loved his grandmother,
He carried her in his arms,
Once I could not hold it,
Apparently the old he became
And the grandmother fell,
The head was inhabited
Straight on the stone, about the big,
I hit the head very hard,
Well, at first nothing
Only the face was rickety
It sparkled from the eyes,
And I hiccuped five times.
And then, as it rushed,
And where did it come from
Immediately hid the yarn,
She is right in tons,
And loads grandfather,
They will send blue to the sea,
So that he was wet there,
And hanging, dried!
Grandfather was stunned with happiness
Already, but even lost weight,
Although there is no more strength
He made all this himself,
He crippled his grandmother,
Dropped and damaged
The whole brain was unraveled by her,
I damaged the cerebellum
And from this she,
She touched slightly with her mind.
Jumped like a goat
I got out of my eyes
Does not give him peace
No stupid.
And between these business,
Not decent men,
Grandfather was engaged in fishing,
He rushed with his net,
I started it right into the sea
And what God gave, caught.
Somehow the grandmother overslept
The yarn of that did not tense
Our grandfather is once crossed,
And enjoyed fishing!
Once he threw his net,
With Tina, he came alone,
He threw him again,
He caught the grass, chaff,
For the third time he threw him,
I sat down when I pulled
A net with a gold came,
This fish is not simple!
The whole fish in pearls,
Diamonds, gold.
On her head, she has a crown
Well, this is all Gorgon
Do not tear your eyes off
Here to fry, gobble up,
Before that, of course,
Slowly forever
Put all of it,
And go to the pawnshop to the pawnshop.

The words of the goldfish
And the fish prayed
In a love and for a reason,
She spoke in a voice
Human - these are those on!
“Grandfather release me,
In the sea, blue from a bucket,
Dear, I will give them a rage,
All you want yourself. "

The actions of the old man
The old man was surprised
I took out my first one once,
And he got him in one gulp,
A little glass did not swallow.
Grandfather was fishing for thirty years
And not hearing, no doubt,
To say the fish,
And in our way asked
Let her go there
Where is salty water
And about what is eager
She disagree!
Grandfather thought, marveled,
Crossed three times,
Took her freed her,
And he released the will,
You are walking around the seas
In the vastness and waves.
You don't need to buy off you
Swam with God, since it is necessary.
And then he came home,
Met with his wife,
Told, everything was as it was there,
What did the fish say there
That I could not take the ransom,
And in words cannot be conveyed,
I just let go into the sea
And he blessed her!

The words of the old woman
Then the old woman was drunk,
Strongly, strongly screamed:
“Oh you, fool, oh you stump,
That you live the first day
If only I asked for a trough
Ours has long been broken,
Everything was dry, fell apart
And the washing has leaked!
Come on quickly, come on
To the sea of \u200b\u200bblue step
Click a gold fish,
Ask a puzzle so,
So that the trough at the same hour,
Again, pleased us.

The actions of the old man

Our old man obeyed
The sea returned to blue,
The fish began to click the fish,
Loudly, loudly called her,
Sees the sea was indignant
And as if foamed,
Zlata fish sailed,
She guessed at a time she
What did the grandmother want
Grandfather immediately commanded.

The words of the goldfish
Turn home, go home
My friend will be fulfilled,
There will be a new trough
It is lined with gold on top,
Let the grandmother rejoice
And he erases his rag in him.

He returned home
Barely, barely alive,
After all, he spoke with the queen,
Not with the earth, but water,
Look, his old woman sits,
Hardly aimed, like a grunt,
And there is a trough before her,
Really lined with gold,
Everything sparkles, cuts the eye,
We did not have such!
And the old woman was angry
Well, as if it became furious
Grandfather is swearing again
Well, what is the light on.

The words of the old woman
Ah, you are a fool, fool,
Oh, the club waved off
And the mind, then not horseradish
The whole hut has already rotted,
Return to the fish quickly,
Worship her into the fins,
Begged, ask the hut,
Not without hut!

The actions of the old man
The old man obeyed again
The sea returned to blue,
The fish began to click the fish,
Loudly, loudly called her.
Sees, the sea has become confused
Foamed even more
Zlata fish sailed,
She guessed at a time she
What did the grandmother want
Grandfather commanded again
Turn home, go home
My friend will be fulfilled,
There will be a new house for you,
Five -walls without excess

THE ENDING

Only this was said
And the weather became quiet.
The fisherman began to look around here,
Groken, gasp, wonder:

Before him his huten,
Grandma, chickens, spindles,
A dog with a warmed tail,
"Ambulance" with a cross ...

"Tale of a fisherman and a fish" with humor - a text for free printing

"Tale of a fisherman and a fish" with humor - a text for free printing:

INTRODUCTION:

Off the coast of the cold blue sea,
Once a courtyard stood for a long time.
Perhaps the compound is already said loudly,
Spitter, on the roof of the straw.

The fence fell, the gates fell,
Lame cart in a wretched barn.
Steklin is about to fall from the window,
From the entire stomach - a dog and a cat.

The reason is clear: an old man with an old woman,
Not just cope with everyday devastation.
Since they did not live in Sochi,
They did not rent rooms for rooms.

For a long time the old people have forgotten their grandchildren,
And the old man did not print the fake money.
Family Zlato was not stored in the pots.
The old man and the old woman did not live richly.

In addition to children, they were acquired,
Two pairs of bast shoes, but a thin trough.
And their life was hard and wretched.
It’s just happiness that the sea is sideways.

The old man is not a lazy person, and the network has been preserved,
And the fish at that time was completely caught.
Yes, they would have lived so, their age is short,
Neither life, nor wealth, knowing,

Neither shaky, no flowering, no sweet, nor bad,
If it was not a miracle.
Once the old man went, as usual,
To the cold sea for fish prey,

He threw a net into whitish waves,
On the shore he crouched in the anticipation of the catch.
Forgetting, stared into the sky of Ryaboy,
Yes, and fell asleep under the hiss of the surf.

The old man woke up from the buzz and howl -
A wave behind the wave rushes to the shore.
Buruns take off that the horses are dashing.
Looks like the element diverged in earnest.

The wind is played with water and foam.
Like copper strings, nets are stretched.
Oak stakes bends with the beach.
All the catch is about to rush into the abyss.

The old man grabbed the network that there is urine,
A heavy burden from the sea drags.
A rich catch nailed on the network.
And suddenly from the shine in the eyes it was charged.

The old man peered, and it became unsteady at his feet:
He sees in the networks an unusual fish.
Her scales like a thousand sparkles,
And the crown sparkles with a thimble.

And the old man understood, from the excitement of Ikaya,
That the Queen of the Sea got on the network.
While the old man was recovering from excitement,
From the net, the girl's voice came:

The words of the goldfish

Listen, fisherman, through the fault of providence,
Today I became a captive of yours.
And, as relying on the tsarist dignity,
I will not stand at a price at all.

Ask for a worthy queen award,
Ask for rubies, diamonds and gold.
At the bottom of the ocean, in the abysses of the bottomless,
Tons are scattered such trinkets.

You are promised - you will not lose.
I see that you do not spend honey with a spoon.
There, the jacket is thin, but bast shoes were demolished.
Latka fell off in the ass for a long time.

And in the grid of your hole you do not pile.
Two more forces - and what the hell are you caught.

The words of the old man
For a minute, thinking, the old man replies:
- Of course, your reward is impressive.

Who does not need amber and diamonds?
You can buy with them a lot and at once.
Such a reward of anyone will warm
From such wealth, the king is fucked up.

Here are just one drawback of Zlata -
You quickly get used to the life of the rich.
As soon as you plunge - it has already sucked.
Today's luxury to the department is not enough.

Palaces, hippodrome, estates, gypsies
- Reasons for embezzlement - that water in the ocean.
Diped, robbed, the guests appeared -
And the money between the fingers of sand was built up.

And with a woman’s fantasy - burn a trouble,
Your chests are not a bottomless barrel.
You look, you’ll get drunk at the last cell,
Will you still get you again?

Let all the wealth remain at the bottom.
Perhaps someone else will have to reckon with.
I do not need neither money nor Zlata.
A different reward will warm my soul.

I ask you to return to the king's sea,
In exchange for freedom, I am masculine.

The words of the goldfish

The fish already had something in the larynx:
- I flew a lot on the network by drunk,

But honestly I will say how many times have not been caught,
This has never been asked.
Well, the hut, well, the title, well, a yacht in Venice, -
But to change good for potency?!

Oh people, about customs! Where is the world rolling?
The old man went crazy to be a caracatic!
After all, if everyone thinks about the old women,
Who should my trinkets sell my trinkets?

The words of the old man

The old man is stubborn, pushes to his own:
- Get back, they say, I am power that the flesh lifts.
And you will be stubborn, although the queen
- We'll have to treat you for dinner.

The words of the goldfish

Seeing that the gold does not shine,
“Let it be, in your opinion,” the captive said.
The whole body hit the wave with force,
And with the crown to the heel of the old man, she doused.

Ending of a fairy tale for adults

And he suddenly feels a change in himself.
He cannot believe - in his pants a move.
Suddenly, all the signs of a man became visible.
And this is for no apparent reason.

Oh God, and if it suddenly straightens,
When will this opportunity present?
The old man is impatiently abandoning the network,
He produces all the fish back to the ocean.

What a fishing, her flies eat!
And a frisky gait rushes to the old woman.
Seeing her wife, the old woman fell
- She did not see this from the wedding.

To whom is the lying woman not joy?
At that time, she did not get to bed.
And the forces of the grandfather grow once from time to time.
He brings his woman to ecstasy.

Only the sun beyond the mountain is a bed that violin.
Verily, the fish worked gloriously.
The hardships, ailments, sadness are forgotten.
The spouses indulge in love at night.

And in the morning their vigor does not know the border.
Played a barn with wheat crop.
Grandfather built a new hut per week
- Such mansions that the king is not worthy.

And the woman from now on substitute him too
- The face and soul is forty younger.
Like a girl, he manages around the house.
Mumans, sews, cooks, erases.

The old man now walks in a satin caftan,
The dumplings with a fork is lying in sour cream.
He is drinking a goose with horseradish wine,
And the fish remembers the fish with good.

Not a spell of prosperity, no maximum power,
Will not replace the energy of passion in any way,
May you have this powerful power,
And so that she inspires you for a century.

"Tale of the Golden Fish" in a new way with humor for adults

"Tale of the Golden Fish" in a new way with humor for adults:

INTRODUCTION:

Once grandfather went ashore
Heal
I wanted a little fish
After all, there are no teeth for a long time.

Gums do not chew
And where to get the meat here?
Only a broken trough
From the economy and clamp.

Legs in the sea wet
The whole fate is deafening
I threw a net that there is strength
And bent like a tripod.

Pulls a net. Nothing.
Know a difficult hand.
You need to throw further
Yes, the leg slides along the bottom.

He repeated the attempt.
This time again bummer
I expected him with prey
In the throat already, a lump was created.

He collected all his strength
Threw, yelled hoarsely
I tried so hard that in a circle
He created bubbles in the water.

Baklanov surprised all!
The net dragged quietly
Sees in the net prey
A little, did not swim with happiness.

What a miracle! Grandfather looks
Fish is on gold
Her crown on the head
The image is arrogant.

Grandfather was upset slightly
-Yes, fate is not easy
On the fourth attempt
There is no strength to Nifiga.

This is the fish, there is no top
Perches of a half of the bag,
And from this only the crown
Yes, a bony head.

Okay, damn it
Golden head is enough for the soup
Under the bruise of moonshine
Plap with grief and longing.

The words of the goldfish

The fish suddenly shook all
- Old let me go
For the service for such
I will reward you with gold.

There at the bottom, its own fuss
The eldest there is generally
Worries again
My family is about me.

If I have not been for a long time
That is there it!
May be in power
Although it is a sea bottom.

The words of grandfather-Starik

Grandfather gnawed in his fist
Sneak down looked
Says: “No, on dry
Do not solve such a section "

The head is empty in the morning
Vodka would now be half a gram
Here are Tada! You see wake up
In my heart, kindness.

The words of the goldfish

- Everything will be! That you are wilted.
The table suddenly arose with a snack.
- Drink and we will solve
My question is soon an old man.

Dries the sun my cap
The gills swept the drying
Yes, yours are still grandfather of Gaza ...
I feel, soon the tank is soon.

The words of grandfather-Starik

Grandfather rang dishes
Vodka slapped, blushed.
On caviar from eggplant
I looked with suspicion.

Damn the sea creature with you.
I do not need a golden gold.
I don't get sick on trouble
Tea fisherman, not sovereign!

The net turned, shook.
I dipped a fish into the water,
Farewell to sneeze
And he waved her hand.

The words of the goldfish

The fish surfaced - "Well, old man
Since such a layout arose
Between me and the
Call, I'll come to a scream "

Let it always be here
For you, drinking, food.
Okay, enough, got sick.
Come, trouble will come.

Grandfather stood a little
Another hundred on the chest took
Net Sharb, took the bottle
And hoped home.

The words of the grandmother are old

Grandma at home: What is the boob?
Are you going on a glass again?
He said that fishing
And he is just drunk in the snot.

The words of grandfather-Starik

Tsyts, you are old Karga,
The head hurts you
Yes. Fishing is unsuccessful
No, Pisces Nifiga.

Not so. I'm not drunk.
From his grip he swept a glass.
And about everything she split
Grandma sat on the sofa.

The words of the grandmother are old

The old drunkard is one.
I'm not funny now,
Well this is necessary to get drunk
Miracle, let go to the bottom!

The house has long rotted to the ground
There are only rubles in the wallet
In the garden radish with pumpkin
Yes, the meadow is hemp.

Let's run for fish
And ask not a new house.
The bandits have a lot of money
I want to be! Above the common fund!

The words of grandfather-Starik

I heard a scream for a long time
Ashore an old man
Everything was going on and thought about one thing
Damn, again failed the tongue.

The wave splashes on the sea
Shouted the "fish". There she is.
- Hello old, what happened?
- Satan ate the grandmother.

Scream is under the ceiling
He waves angrily with a fist
To be she who wants to be the main thing
Above the gangstone.

The words of the goldfish

Well, grandfather, just laughed
You would not be in a hurry
Well, Kolya really needs
I will do it. If so I decided.

The fish hid, the wind was sleeping
Grandfather stood a little
Yes, hiding home,
Waiting for a scandal there.

Walked, from fear already sweated,
And came so stunned
There are no huts, the cottage is huge
I saw on the hill.

He came closer,
Before the gate of the barrier,
In the courtyard gangstones
The grandmother gives a bow.

The words of grandfather-Starik

Grandfather called out: - Hey relatives!
Have you forgotten about me?
New house, I look, gate
Not a gate, but an armor!

The grandmother is squinting
Does not tell at all,
And in her mouth it is a touch
Remedy tooth shines.

The words of the grandmother are old

Why did you have a grandfather?
Did not call, tea, for lunch
We are the present in divorce.
Ali understood? Ali no?

The words of grandfather-Starik

Grandfather to her: - Old, what are you?
Give me at least boots, coat.
Say the neighbors
He will not drive away, tea, no one.

The words of the grandmother are old

Babaka: - You are probably stupid!
You will be a sheepskin coat!
You pray to be in the river tomorrow
Nobody found your corpse.

Time has passed ...

What can I say. The main thief!
What kind of dispute can a dispute with her?
Quietly disappeared from the neighbors
Remembering the conversation with the grandmother.

The year has passed, there is another.
Bandyuki is a big crowd
In black cars they go to grandfather,
Grandma requires home!

They brought his grandfather into the house,
Conserving a boot,
The grandmother is shaking in the house,
Like aspen with a petal.

Instead of fur coats - body armor.
Holds a black gun
Outside the window is installation
For launching missiles.

The words of the grandmother are old

Come in my dear
Yes tightly close the door
I feel here here
In God's temple, Satan.

Tired of everything to me like this:
Arrows, thieves' common sense,
Yes, it presses on the brains
Eternal cop cap.

Outwarded, do not leave!
Do not pass, do not pass.
Not today, tomorrow they will grab
And ... a happy journey!

You carry bones to fish,
Beg or ask ...
I have one desire:
The main thing is in all of Russia !!!

The words of the goldfish

Nothing to do, old man
His head was dumb
And he trudged sadly to the sea.
The fish sailed to the scream.

Hello, old! What is sad?
If I offended, I'm sorry,
Or has a grandmother saw again?
Speak not muti.

The words of grandfather-Starik

Guessed. Yes she.
So took out, Satan.
Wants to be before her
The whole country bend!

Fish is a mind to find it!
You don't work home, go.
I will do as the grandmother wants
If there is no other way.

WAY HOME…

The old man bowed to her,
The fish suddenly disappeared instantly.
Old home trudged
Look at Babkin Lick.

That's looking, straight in the way
Red house, do not get around.
There is only one gate in the house
They do not enter the guards.

He sees the grandmother upstairs
The pen waves. All in fur!
And yells: - Go a footage!
Everything! Let's! Mercy Baku!

Nothing to do, again
Grandfather found where to spend the night.
Every day goes to sea,
There is a drink and eat.

Time has passed ...

The year passed, another passed.
Babkina's servants with a crowd
Again, they rolled to grandfather.
Grandma is waiting for her home.

Dragging to the grandmother in the palace
Telling him: - Father,
Better don't rest, you
And not that we all end!

Grandfather is running after servants
He himself is trembling with fear.
In the palace, in the huge hall
The grandmother is circling with a raven.

All in furs and all in silk
In fashionable horn glasses,
Cerelier on each finger
And bracelets on the hands.

Finally the old man came
Here the question arose.
I will ask everyone to retire!
The servants fled instantly.

The words of the grandmother are old

I got in full here.
The whole country respects
For whom I want - I am an angel,
For whom and Satan.

Yes, now I'm with money
But this is so piercing fear
Threatened when war
On Earth al on the seas.

I can't here anymore
Constantly on the alert.
Tola will add poison to food,
Tola will put my leg.

I don't want, maybe
Just share their power
With black, yellow or red
I know how we live on!

To the fish grandfather, let's go
Kohl will refuse, pass it
For her and a frying pan
I will find and punish.

And my desire
The first to be on the whole earth !!!
Peace I want a crown
Put on the head

And so that people do not curse
They worshiped as best they could
Exactly to the deity of which
Or the miracle of the whole earth.

Yes, so that the fish is yours
Performed for me
What will I say and wish
There will be even garbage!

All. Come on, go old man,
Just come back instantly.
You won’t do it, you will regret it
What was generally born.

The words of grandfather-Starik

An old pipe tube,
Closing life, yourself
The old one dragged to the sea.
- Fish! Where are you? It's me!

The words of the goldfish

- Hello old! What are you yelling?
You can’t take care of your throat.
She said that I would
If only you call.

What are you sad? Life is not exposed to?
Can you attack?
How is yours there, old, grandmother?
Have played power?

The words of grandfather-Starik

Where exactly! To the liver to her oar.
The grandmother only suffered
Wants peace, you see, crown
Put it on the brow!

I drank. Sobbling bitterly.
Told everything about the scandal
And what the grandmother said
I conveyed word for word.

The words of the goldfish

Okay old, rightly.
Once I went such a bummer
I will help, no one will touch
Even Babkin is a bone.

Do not be sad, do not be sad
And come to the shore,
Eat, drink. Yes, only a grandmother
Never bring!

Instructive ending

She waved only his tail
Grandfather remained under an umbrella
Reflect on the meaning of life,
What's where, how and what later.

He walked home, carried her leg.
On the hill - nifiga.
House, broken trough,
Yes, the quiet carga!

"Tale of the Golden Fish" in a new way with humor - a funny alteration for adults

The Tale of the Golden Fish in a new way with humor is a funny alteration for adults:

INTRODUCTION

Once upon a time in the cold winter time,
Two thousand thirteenth years advanced,
The old woman said to her boyfriend:

The words of the old woman

- Old man, we are waiting for the people today.
I want to treat them to a herring under a fur coat,
And its branded fish, its bay,
Take a net, go to the sea,
And do not return home without fish.

The words of the old man

So the old man went to the blue sea,
The net threw it into the sea and waits.
Pulled out - fish.

- Wow!!! Bay !!!
And it will even go on the ear!

The words of the goldfish

And the fish, I shine in the sun,
Suddenly he declares his grandfather this:

- What ear, old man! I'm not simple!
I'm magical !!! I'm golden!
I'm not lying on the table in vegetables,
I fulfill three desires to everyone!

The words of the old man

- That's marvelous!
I want money and a house in the Maldives,
Well, I also decided to change
Lada Kalina on a brand new jeep.

The words of the goldfish

- Well, no problem, - the fish said, the fish,
And a smile played on her face -
You will be both a car and a cottage,
Money and girls (like a bonus in addition),
But to fasten our agreement with you,
Come on, old man, sign the contract.

Grandfather was open, dreaming about the Maldives,
I took the contract, waved without reading,
And, like a male deer of the young
Groding home, ready for paradise life.

The words of the old man

Grandma - screams - we are now oligarchs!
To hell with guests! Look at the gifts!
The last model of a jeep in the garage,
A ticket to the Maldives has already been ordered!
Well, in return, nothing
So, I signed only one agreement.

The old woman took the contract, read
And immediately from the closet ... I took out a rolling pin.

The words of the old woman

- Eh! You are foolish, a simpleton!
Clever you, foolishly, surrounded you!
The jeep is taken into leasing, the house is in a mortgage,
Currency loan at 40 percent!
You can’t do it, everything is sewn - covered!
Even in the pledge is a thin trough !!!

Hence morality: Don't take a freebie!
But, if so, you like a freebie,
In order not to be sentenced to you,
Do not be too lazy to read the contract!

"Tale of Golden Fish" in a new way with humor for a fun company

The Tale of the Golden Fish in a new way with humor for a fun company:

INTRODUCTION

It was a matter near Sochi,
Or maybe in the Crimea:
The old man with an aging woman lived,
Inexplicably…
Grandfather fishing early in the morning
He left the hut
Poaching - networks
Tolstolobikov caught.
Fortunately, there is a fish guard
He didn’t get up early in the morning ...
Yes in Crimea now lawlessness,
Everyone who has been there knows.
Once our grandfather
I stretched the network in the sea,
Yes, I got only a snag
It seems even Saksaul ....
Although no ... over there in the clods of Tina
Something burns so brightly ...
I took a closer look - there is a fish
Pure gold sparkles!

The words of the old man
“Well, I heard that such
Fish cost a hundred rubles ...
I'll put you in a jar
And to the market as soon as possible! "

The words of the goldfish

Suddenly the fish is golden
The fisherman says:
“Wait, old man! Well, think
Well, what kind of profit do you need
In the transaction of one hundred and whitesot-ruble?
Let me go home
You see, I will pay off
I am expensive at a price
Any wish
Make me ...

The words of the old man

Grandfather decided:
“What the hell is it ...
It seems that I didn’t drink yesterday ... "
In general, a brisk fish
Our fisherman released
And without ransom, so simple
I released home at sea.

The house of the old man and the old woman ...

The old woman is in the hut
From the boards firmly knocked down
Scolded handle parasites,
What are the washings of Indesites:
She was washing underwear in a typewriter,
But in the middle of washing it broke.

The words of the old woman
The grandfather appeared with stories about the miracle,
And the grandmother yells: “Well, you are freaks!
I released a fish, a fisherman, a bad louse!
Go now, ask for Bosch washing!
Otherwise this strange indesite
It works like an old parasite ...
Yes, I'm talking about you! Do not flatter yourself!
And without a catch, do not return to the house! "

The words of the goldfish

The old man went back to the seashore ...
And the fish swims towards him soon!
»Well, I came up with what for you to please
I will be able to repay for freedom? "

The words of the old man
“Yes, you see here, my old wife
She said that we needed a washing room ...
And most importantly, it does not indes, but Bosch ...
He, he says, is reliable and good! "

The words of the goldfish
“Go home and wait, now they will deliver!
And at the same time, Indesit will fix it! "

The words of the old woman

The old man came home, and there was a wife:
“They brought us a machine, she, she,
Erases, dries, bakes pies almost!
And all our mayor, he is all glory and honor! "

The words of the old man
“What does the mayor have to do with it, the old woman, close your mouth!
Does I tell you about the gold fish?
It was she who conjured Bosch! "

The words of the old woman
“Absolutely crazy, old? Or Belen
Waswed to the scum today?
What a fish, Ekani Karas!
You, if you really believe in miracles,
I would have asked for better hair
On your bald head, but about clothes,
More about the white -stone cottage,
With sewage, with a pool and with a jacuzzi,
To burn out fat on my belly!
In the meantime, go away, do not flicker!
Do not spoil me the holiday of Bosch and Souls! "

The words of the old man

Well, what to do with a harmful old woman?!
Does not believe in miracles, believes - grandfather under a fly,
Therefore, it carries such crap ...
Grandfather rose the next day
Went to the seashore of the sea to wait ...
“Ah, fish, thank you, your mother!
The mayor sent us this machine, Bosch!
And now mine thinks - the mayor is good ...
And this mayor is a thief of thieves!
Steals how only hands enough!
I want to prove this fool,
Who should be caressed for this bosch,
And then he does not believe her husband not a damn!
Such a crazy wife!
You can make an upgrade
So that 30 grandfathers look like?
So that instead of a hut - a beautiful cottage!
And from Armani Georgio clothes! "

NEW LIFE…

A former grandfather came home to the cottage,
Fashionable is dressed in a suit and sneakers,
In the cottage, a stunned wife,
Sits - does not understand no horseradish ..

The words of the old woman.
"Who are you? It really is ... no, it cannot be!
Let's go rather fish!
After all, this is a miracle, this is ... my God!
What are the prospects before me!
Drag a bank rather so that they could
Sit there more miracle fish!
Malkov we will sell oligarchs ...
Although, what I'm talking about, first in the bed ...
I have not seen such a fellow for a long time
Bargaining with both the body and from the face ... "

NEW LIFE…

What happened next - I can't say
I did not keep a candle there!
But in general, in the evening of the same day
A fisherman went, his wife, a bang,
With a set and a can on a sandy beach ...
The sea landscape was harsh and gloomy!

The words of the goldfish
But the fish swam, did not fail:
“What aquarium?! Fucked up? What the heck?
I miraculously only cry for freedom!
And take your grandmother to the doctor!
And you know ... You are a blank, two long ear!
Why are your old woman now?
In order not to resort to me again,
Ask it better to change the woman! "

MORALITY…
And the conclusion is simple: do not limit freedom,
Not a gold fish, and nor the people!
Otherwise, they can simply change you!
Incidentally said your mother?

"Tale of the Golden Fish" in a new way with humor with meaning

The Tale of the Golden Fish in a new way with humor with meaning:

INTRODUCTION

Once upon a time there were an old man and an old woman-
For two, read, two hundred years ...
Not the feather of swan fluff,
Not Martini - put in a buffet ...
Hut in the ground on the shutters is buried,
A crown to the side of the crown,
All wealth is a thin trough
And even then everything went completely.
This poverty is a partner grief
The village was heard ...
Grandfather once went to the sea -
At least catch something on the ear ...
Disassembled poaching gear
I was alerted by the coastal dregs
Spit in the palm of your hand,
He threw a net and undertook to pull.
For the first time I hooked three shrimp,
Old primus and torn shoe,
Yes, from a trading ship of the scope -
Jellied meat, pasta, force.
In the second - two holes coins,
Rusted at the bottom,
Yes, a fragment of a large figurine:
Ballerin on a white horse.
Luck smiled for the third time
(Grandma at home completely got rid of) -
Half a way, nothing other than
Huge crucian carp appeared.
The sun is affectionately licking,
Smiling to him from behind the mountains
Pulling the old net closer,
The old man grabbed by the barrier ...
Fish fought in the gun of fishing
The eye burned with a frantic light.

The words of the goldfish
Tumtered, the word put down:
“Hey fisherman, are you completely stupefied ???
Let go, I have alimony
And children - I do not wish the enemy,
There will be dashing moments in life -
Come, call, I will help ...
I, bro, is not a simple fish,
I have dating and blat ...
If you want, there will be feeding from the belly,
If you want - I will hand over a historical treasure ... "

Stunned by spatial speech
(Al was heated ... did not seem to drink) ...
I took prey, went near
Blue in the sea and let go ...

Did a kind, in general, business ...
I turned home lightly ...
There is an old woman - she looked at her eyes ...
A frying pan, cast in his hand ...
Talked about the miracle seen
(Head without a steering wheel and windy) ...

The words of the grandmother are old
Grandma in the voice: “Have mercy! .. People! ..
What are you, the old goat, did you!?
Blow back, ask on your knees,
You can force the sea, swimming
But today is new in the hallway
Put me with an enamel! "

The sea rumbles quietly with a surf,
Shreds of foam on the Breg, taking
The old man became from the heart that there is urine
Carry up from the water ...

The words of the goldfish
He sailed faster than riot police:
“What happened, my dear old man?
Come on without too much ringing
Speak everything as it is ... straight. "

The words of grandfather-Starik

Grandfather began from afar: “Not to the treasure ...
Even if it is buried under the nose ...
For the wife, if possible, then it is necessary
A couple of new shiny troughs ... "
“This, grandfather, is not a problem at all
Do you need something? - It turns out we grow!
Two troughs are a closed topic,
Return - everything will be the way! "
Rated ... The door is wide open,
There is no face on an angry old woman ...
It beats two new troughs
And yells good obscenities from the porch.

The words of the grandmother are old
“I received a bastard to the spouses,
You can hardly find worse in the world! ..
I need a washing car
Yes, not what, but "Bosch".

The words of grandfather-Starik

Grandfather came to the troubled sea ...
The fish soon sailed to the call:
“I don't argue with the old woman for a long time
(I'm ready to fail from shame) ...
Asks the ancient technique of foolishly,
Facilitate unobtrusively everyday life
Yes, and I would have a mixture on alcohol -
The body from the runes is a spleen "...

The words of the goldfish
“Okay, you will be bells and whistles,
I, no way, is your specific debtor ...
I will provide cognac and sprats
On a snack ... caviar, balyk. "

Grandfather to the house - there is an open gate ...
Truck ... showing enthusiasm,
With dexterous loaders company
Unloads boxes into the yard.

The words of the grandmother are old
The old woman is angry than the former,
Angry word pours over the edge:
“Again, apparently, you listened to half a woo?
Miracle - equipment in an old barn?
You look, modest, modest,
Today, conscience is an aging pont,
Return and demand mansions
And the car and the European Republic!
Majordoma, driver, servant,
With an oriental canopy!
Tie the district with the contract
Business - Wuman to call me! "

The words of grandfather-Starik

The storm was nibbled underwater cliffs,
For coastal granite began ...
The old falsetome calls tired:
"Can you come out, good crucian? .."

The words of the goldfish

He raised the wave on the crest,
In surprise, the curved tail:
“At first you seemed to me sucker
And, it turns out, not so simple?! "

The words of grandfather-Starik

“Yes, not me - the grandmother is eccentric,
The universal howl stands to heaven,
He asks the villa by a melting, the cottage,
Roy of servants, cool Mercedes,
Personal bank - interspersed dollars
With European currency to the basement,
Better to drive into the Canaries
And I would have dressed Carden ... "

The words of the goldfish

“Yes, I’ll tell you, older, not
The old woman has an appetite ...
There will be everything, come back to the woman ... "

The words of the servant of the old woman

Returned ... The old woman is sad
Surrounded by personal guards,
The assistant says for her:
“The hostess has mental wounds, -
Japanese accent cuts the ear.
You are not given the mind of Kolya,
Village in the bast shoes of the gusu,
Explosion of the house of will
Give it to that karasy:
I wished a cozy chair
Governorship in our area,
Update the loins painlessly,
Microsoft possess on shares! "

MORALITY

Completely returned to the sea
On the feet, half -bent grandfather ...
The sea stroke is unknown
The indication received is nonsense.
The magic fish clicked for a long time ...
With a prepared speech to the call
She appeared: “Sorry for the mistake,
He broke with the promise of firewood ...
The old woman wants the impossible
I will say one goodbye:
No pen, older, no fluff ... "
And he ducked like a stone, to the bottom ...
The hut is buried again on the shutters,
It looks like a dugout in the ANFAS ...
In front of the grandmother is a thin trough
And the note: "Everything was ... you ..."

"Tale of the Golden Fish" in a new way with humor for funny pastime

The Tale of the Golden Fish in a new way with humor for a cheerful pastime:

INTRODUCTION

The old man with his old woman lived
In an emergency dwelling by the sea.
Grandfather was fishing (all the time under the fly),
The grandmother also drank tightly with grief.

And also, depressed by everyday life,
Drunk hard, the grandmother loved
Grandfather beat! Especially trough.
I broke everything about my grandfather.

Grandfather, how bruises will be absorbed
And the Fingal yellow at the eye,
He went to catch evil fish.
To dry her - a slope!

As best she could, I mocked (cattle!)
Absolutely risking anything,
Into the net to the grandfather of the slimy Tina,
Then the grass is drinking sea.

Poor grandfather swore, spit
And in the hearts on his chest he tore the vest,
But in the fight against fish, the evil did not give up.
So that she is a dynamic checker in her tail!

The checker, by the way, is an excellent remedy
Make a atrocities over herring.
If not for fish supervision in the neighborhood,
If ... not an article - poaching ...

Driving, with longing, these thoughts,
Sounds of heartless herring, spite
Grandfather in a new one threw networks
And once he was lucky!

Grandfather's words

The face of the grandfather twisted a smile -
“Who beats there, grabbing the air with your mouth?
Really! Can't be! Fish!
Not simple - "Golden!"

The words of the fish

Only a fish with sadness in the eye,
With gold scales on the side,
- “Let me let me go older, at sea!”-
Gently said the old man suddenly.

Grandfather's words

- "Thirty years, as I am fishing in the sea"-
The old man was scared, surprised -
“But the fish that are not speaking.
Really, got to a fever? "

The words of the fish

- “Don't throw me with a fierce cat
(A cat with a grandfather fished in a boat)
Let go-and-and ... ”-begged the fish-
"I will give a lot for myself ..."

Graceful thoughts ...

Grandfather in his guess was established,
Starikov’s hands shook.
Grandfather glanced at his cat -
"They were finished, they say, here are glitches!"

Murka, to the joy of his grandfather, was silent.
But the fish - again for their own!
Let go! And ... the cellar to the pier,
Without demanding a fight from her.

The words of the old woman

At home, the old woman met her grandfather,
Immediately issued a portion of "affection",
Having a fist of grandfather in the ear with his fist.
- "Kab is not you, we would have healed, as in a fairy tale!" -

“In the sense of ... uh ...” - grandfather did not understand the hint.
- "I passed you, gruch, our Murka!" -
On the forehead of grandfather old woman is cruel
The stub of the cigarette butt pented ...

Not the most funny result

Grandfather by the shore loomed for a day -
The fish clicked, roared like a beluga,
I got the whole village of Rybachy ...
- "You look, how you spread, drunk!" -

The fish was surprised at the bottom of the sea,
But she did not respond to the roar,
Because the trick was very
Yes, and Pushkin read in childhood.

"Tale of the Golden Fish" in a new way with humor to uplift the mood

The Tale of the Golden Fish in a new way with humor to cheer up:

The grandson came to his granny,
What lives now in the village.
Tell the grandmother a fairy tale
About good and about yourself.
The grandmother thought here,
And wrinkling his smart forehead,
And I decided - I will tell
So that the grandson could remember.
I'll tell my grandson a fairy tale
About the struggle of good and evil.
Modern fairy tale
About current affairs.
There is one kingdom in the world,
And what is not there,
Beautiful nature,
The joy of life, a clear light.
In one area - by the sea,

The man lived - all in worries.
Every day he was scolded -
Mother, mother -in -law, father -in -law.
Tired of listening to quarrels
Glating with his fist on the table,
He collected fishing gear,
He went fishing.
The first time, throwing a net,
Barely pulling it out,
There is one sea mud
There is nothing more there.
The second time throws a net
Pulls once, pulls two,
I took out a net - there are shells,
Failure failed.
The third time threw a net
He quickly pulled him out
And that fish is golden,
Immediately visible - lucky.

I looked at this fish -
Cool - do not take the eye,
And she says in Russian-
I beg - let go.
Here the man, thinking tight,
I remembered Pushkin poems
He said: And three desires,
And you go right away.
And then the fish asked -
That you want my dear,
I will certainly do everything -
Let me go home.

He said: for starters,
The mansion on the shore,
Court with guard and dog,
And the beautiful wife.
So that the wife is with the orphanage,
So that without mother -in -law and friends,
Mercedes stood at the house,
Do the fish all soon.

On desire, this is a fish
Suddenly she asked without asking -
Why do you need all this.
How why - prestige and power.
To live not like all people,
There is a lot of money, do not bother,
Drink, and there is for pleasure,
And always bake -up.

Everything is clear, he says the fish,
And what you want,
The man scratched the head,
He began to come up with dreams.
I want all people
They envied instantly
And they said in chorus at once:
“Yes, a cool man!”
And yet, the fish asked -
What else do you want?
Live richly, do not work,
Songs to sing to hoarse.

And the fish said in response.
This life does not get tired
And the man answered directly -
Everything got out - my answer:
You will get up in the morning in the morning
That way - at exactly seven o'clock,
Hurrying - shaved quickly,
And you run, without unnecessary words.
At work, you plow forever
From nine in the morning,
Well, tomorrow all over again
Every day and at seven in the morning.
Tired of life.
With this all, it's time to finish.
I don't want to work completely
Rest and live glorious,
And with the beauty wife,
Friends have their own.

And our fish said
Looking at the man:
You can't walk forever like that
The year after year is one passion.
You take a walk from the heels,
And the walk is getting tired
But you need to feed the family
How to be and where is the answer.
The peasant sighed deeply,

He scratched his head,
And you are the right to fish,
An eternal holiday is a dream.
I would then get down to business
Furniture would be craft
Earned decently
I would at once live in a comfortable way.
Made tables and chairs,
He put his soul his soul.
Did all this with love
I pleased my family.
Soon all this established it,
I would sell furniture,
Everything has become stable in life,
And grace came.

Well, then what?
I asked the fish, here the man-
Happiness would have come in the house
Every day until the morning.
Yes, you are a good fellow fish
Suggested - how and what,
I have to have a golden fish
You forgive me for everything.

And one was left fish,
And I decided immediately, instantly -
And said happily:
"I love coaching!"
Our fish is a business trainer,
The answer will give an answer.
Will advise what is necessary
It will always give advice.

Here is the granddaughter, after listening to a fairy tale
Make a conclusion, finally.
The fairy tale is sensible, however,
Thoughts wisdom in her a crown.
Making a conclusion from this fairy tale,
You learn to live with dignity
Honesty, Glory - everything is fine,
We call this life.
There is no lie to this fairy tale,
Make a conclusion at the end.
Live your age for mercy.
That's all my grandson is a young man.

Video: a fairy tale about a goldfish for adults. Romek for the fairy tale A.S. Pushkin